oh how

strange
delightful
caring
annoying
stupid
beautiful
oblivious
manipulative
bossy
funny
fun.

lifes not a game.. right?

flagella

is a funny word

hahahaha

i wanna be perfectly happy

...i think its possible. iii wwaannnaaa

<--- thats cute

so what do i need to be happy..
well i am happy.. actually more like content with everything

i wonder how long my xanga phase is gonna last.

nnnnnnnaaaaaaaananananananana
when i think about the happiest times of my life, 5th grade and spain come to mind.

5th grade because 5th graders were like the boss of elementary school. we raaan the school, well in my eyes. and everyone got along. life was so carefree

spain? i dont even remember why. maybe it was jsut getting away from the same everyday life here. people there are so friendly, its impossible. in a matter of a few days, u feel like u've known them for quite a long time. plus, i was surrounded by pretty awesome ppl. aw, and i still miss it

you know whats not good? worrying.. too much. when is it ever worth it? what does it do? maybe its a useless emotion. ORR maybe its not...

i always try to think of animals we can do without on this planet. like i could care less for bees. except they look pretty neat with their stripes. everyone says theyre needed because they spread pollen around. helloo wind can do taht too. hm but at least they make honey. mmmMMMm

the popes in ny. i sitll cant get over the fact taht its not pope john paul anymore. i know its pope benedict but when i see pictures, i expect to see pope john paul the sixth! buts he's passed in case u didnt know

i need to be more productive with my time. seriously man..
so u know how i wanna be "perfectly happy"? itd be cool if i could do taht PLUS make other people happy. taht would make me happier!  but unfortunately i cant do taht all the time

u know what surprises me? oddly enough, i get so excited to see my cousins at family parties. but when we get there, we do nothing. nothing much at all except sit there asking each other what we should do. [of course occasionally we'll have adventures or laugh about nothing or chase ducks or bother others]

but isnt taht funny how i'll still look forward to doing nothing but just being with them? i find that so cool.

so anyway, id write more but my words are getting boring.
and blah blah blah

carefree.

ok so i'm not done writing yet. i was wondering how ppl can even write in xangas. how can you write everything youre truely feeling? why would you want to publicly expose ur deepest feelings to people in this xangan community. WHY?

how can people trust others so easily

i only have a few ppl in my life who i trust. out of those ppl i only actually tell a select few about most things

those ppl disappoint me sometimes. but its funny because i disappoint ppl all the time

but i dont care! well i do, but i pretend i don't
ENOUGH OF THIS i'm gonna take a shower

[edit]
...and i think its because other people, friends family or what have you, don't always care about the same things you do